Technically no, since that would be ancient Israel, but when you consider the wholesomeness of Iowans, I believe that a strong case can be made. Similar to the N’SYNC song “God must have spent a little more time on you,” it is not at all implausible to think that God must have spent a little more time on Iowans.
Why do I write such an ostentacious post? Because my aunt, who is the matriarch of a farming family in Chariton, Iowa, was down to visit us in Kansas City and she exemplifies all the cardinal Iowan virtues of thrift and resourcefulness. I’ll give you a brief summary: Next week I am going to a journalism conference in Washington, D.C. and needed to pick up some new clothes. When I mentioned going to get them at a cheap outlet store, she nearly swerved the car off the road and said “No, we’re going to Goodwill.”
I was skeptical at first. After all, I shopped almost exclusively at Goodwill and Salvation Army in high school — not because the clothes were any good, but because I loved spending my money ironically. However, my aunt has a stronger bloodlust for quality clothes at Goodwill than a grizzly bear at Cub Scout camp. Two stops at a two different thrift stores and less than an hour were all she needed to create an entire professional wardrobe for me — and it cost about $20.
On top of that she just so happened to have her haircutting equipment in the car and gave me a trim. Can you comprehend the resourcefulness of all that? Let’s just say it’s no accident that Iowa has the highest ACT scores in the United States, is home to the first and greatest land-grant university in the world (Iowa State University) and is on the cutting edge of ethanol research. We also have accent-less English, which is why most radio broadcasters are from Iowa (Ronald Reagan worked for WHO Radio before he went to California to launch his acting career), and are the home of the Iowa State Fair — the leviathon of America’s state fairs, which attracts nearly 2 million people annually.
I respect the other 49 states, truly I do. But it’s that little more time that God spent on us which make Iowans special.
It’s as though you took my own thoughts and cast them out upon the blogosphere. Amen to that. Amen to that.
scott, i read your blog and cannot imagine it being any funnier. and then i read the next post and am proven wrong.
iowans are pretty amazing, i must admit. but, wholesome?
Since being home in the hawkeye state, I’ve been pondering this very phenomenon. Why would God have such special favor for Iowa and spend a ‘little more time on them’? I suppose that will have to remain a divine mystery for now. In the mean time, we should all buy this shirt: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/iowa/-/pv_design_details/pg_1/id_11770222/opt_/fpt_/c_360/
Let us not forget that the digital computer (somewhat widely used) was also invented in Iowa.