Thanks to blog links provided by my California ex-roomates Steve and Derek (and Derek’s oh-so gregarious fiance, whose list of female friends is thicker than an IRS tax code) I have a small but significant California readership on my blog. To all you California readers, I need your help — I want to be a Cali poser for a week.
You see, I will be back in America this July to stand in Derek’s wedding and subsequently will spend one week in California. Since I am back in America only 1-2 weeks every year I always try to live it up and do everything in America that I can’t do in Turkey (Last year I went to Branson, Missouri with my family and wore a very-tacky red, white and blue flag shirt). And since I will be in California for an entire week I decided that I want to adopt a California alter ego for my stay there.
So what does that mean? What are the kids saying in Cali’ these days? What are the phat phasions? Do people still replace ‘f’ with ‘ph’? Do I have to eat at In n’ Out Burger every meal, or will eating there every day be sufficient? Do I have to get Animal-Style Fries every time?
Any recommendations are more than welcome.
I just heard a new phrase I think you should consider adopting. “That’s cookies.” Meaning: “That’s really neat.”
You own flip flops, right? If not, get them.
I’ll think of more to try and help you out.
We hope you aren’t leaving your true Iowa roots!!! We might have to flog you with corn if you do.
I heard that they all have big, bushy beards. And that Derek and his fiancee really wish you would have a bushy beard for their wedding (but they’re afraid to ask). And maybe you could put your piercings back in. And maybe bring back the green hair, like the old days. Yknow…so you “stand out” in the wedding photos and all…
a few suggestions in inspiration from one of my last visits…
memorize the in and out online menu…so you can order the secret super stuffted chili cheese onion ring fries.
wear a scarf when it’s 60 F. (damn beverley hills)
get superficial about the weather being superior as opposed to anywhere else in the united states.
i can take you shopping. if for some reason i can’t, i have a list of girlfriends waiting to take you to the hippest surf shop for some flip flops, board shorts and a surf brand t shirt… along with that you must purchase some metro jeans, a hip button up shirt and talk really fast and say like a lot.
i could probably even schedule you in with a friend to get your hair highlighted.
i’m excited you’ll be coming. it will be great to see you!!!
OMG (oh my gosh!) you like so totally have to hit the waves when you are here! Grab a beer and always look in the mirror
Jog like ALL THE TIME while greeting the cyclists with your six pack and lime,
and always eat organic fruits and vegetables from like the like greatest store on EArth! Trader Joes! You can get some totally healthy treats there! yes!
And make sure you get some rockin’ highlights before you come, a little stylish stubble never hurts, and make sure you get a salmon colored shirt.